Chapter Thirty Nine

I came out of the bathroom, coyly slinking towards him. I smiled and put my arms around his waist. I pulled him close and kissed him full on the mouth. He seemed a little taken aback by my advance and was trying not to react to the fact that my body was grinding against his. I said “How was your day darling?” He was just getting ready to answer when I interrupted him “Fix yourself a drink and come into the kitchen.” I had made a cassette for the evening and pushed the “play” button on his stereo while slinking my way into the kitchen. I had already minced some more fresh garlic and had it steeping in some warm olive oil. I had cut the Italian bread lengthwise, separating it into two halves and was brushing the oil onto the bread with a pastry brush when he said “What are we having for dinner? It smells wonderful.” I had sprinkled the bread with some parsley flakes and paprika and was placing the two half loaves under the broiler to toast them and replied “Lasagna, salad, and garlic toast, but it’s the dessert that’ll surprise you.” I began to dish our plates and bring them to table when the garlic bread was done. I made sure that there was nothing demure about my movements. I carried the two plates to the table, motioned for him to sit, and went to the fridge to get the red wine I had chilling. I poured two glasses, and returned to the table. He was apparently very impressed with the meal; I told him to eat it before it got cold “We can make small talk later.”

When he had finished his plate I asked if he would like a second helping, he replied “I would love to be able to, it was delicious, but I don’t think I have room.” I took our plates into the kitchen, and dutifully put the leftovers in the fridge. The songs on the cassette were all very sexy, they helped me stay focused on what I had to do. I went back to the table, took his hand and led him to the leather sofa in his living room.

I sat to his right on the sofa, very close to him. I made small talk about his day, but wasn’t really listening to his answers. I was playing with the hair on the back of his head when he commented again about how much he enjoyed the meal. I was loosening his tie and unbuttoning his collar and told him that I had worked really hard preparing it. I had to go slowly because I was sure that he would freak out if I literally attacked him. It was when I started running my hand up and down his thigh that I sensed him getting uncomfortable. I leaned up and whispered in his ear, “Just relax honey, I’m having fun.” I made sure that my hot breath was on his neck. He was really trying to be a gentleman, making it clear with subtle body language that this was something he wasn’t comfortable with. I handed him his drink, trying to get some more alcohol in him to soften up his defenses. I was rubbing his chest, he was trying to distract me and take the evening to a less sexual focus when he said “You said there was dessert?” I threw my right thigh over his legs and pivoted, so that I was sitting astride his lap facing him. “Yes honey, I brought dessert for you…” I clasped my hands behind his neck and kissed him deeply, probing his mouth with my tongue. Underneath me, I felt his organ pulse a little. He was half-heartedly trying to stand, even though I was on his lap when he said “Well shouldn’t we go have some dessert?” I was unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way when I said “You are having ME for dessert silly!” I crossed my hands, grabbed the hem and pulled my dress up over my head and cast it aside. His eyes widened with surprise. I was subtly grinding his crotch just a little, being sure to not sit too still. I kissed his chest, working my way up so he would feel my hot breath on his neck when I made sure to press the lace of my bra against his bare chest. His breathing was quickening when he said “Margaret, you really don’t have to do this!” I sat back a bit and undid the clasp on my bra and replied with a devilish tone “I know, but I want to. You like it, don’t you?” The bra was hanging in my shoulders, but my breasts were exposed. He was having a very difficult time of it. He had a very willing young lover on his lap, one that he admired and maybe even adored, but the true old fashioned gentleman in him was reluctant to give in. His hands hadn’t moved, he was sitting there not knowing where to look or what to do. He said only “We shouldn’t…”, but I shushed him with a single finger placed vertically over his lips. I took his hands and guided them to my breasts. I could feel his cock really starting to throb underneath me. I knew that I still had to be careful, as he could still force me to stop. I started grinding his lap a little harder and while I was making his hands caress my breasts I moaned “Don’t stop, Oh that feels sooo good”, and slid my butt a little farther toward his knees. I leaned into his face so close that our noses touched and undid his trousers. For a second, he didn’t know what I was doing because my face was so close to his that he couldn’t see. I slid my hand down inside his boxers and began massaging his engorged penis.
I have to admit, I was getting very horny at this point too. Remember I hadn’t had an orgasm for a couple of months. But I didn’t let that dissuade me from focusing on my plan. He was breathing very hard now, I said “Oh yeah, that feels sooo nice.” I pulled his waistband down far enough to expose him. It wasn’t huge or anything, God knows I had seen bigger, but it was the most perfect dick I’ve ever seen. I wanted so badly to slide it inside of me and ride it until I came undone. But I knew that I had to be quick, because I didn’t want any awkward pauses to give him a chance to stop me, so I slid my ass off his thighs and knelt in front of him. I had my mouth on his cock in less than a second. He was protesting, saying “No, Margaret don’t”, “You shouldn’t”, and “This is wrong.”

But once I had him hard and in my mouth, I knew it was just a matter of time. I started with a few deep penetrations, softly going all the way down. He was so hard and pulsing, his verbal protests waned, and all he could do was moan. Then I began the short quick strokes, with my tongue working the underside of his corona. I knew where that knot of nerves was, I just knew that it would only be seconds before he would be unable to stop even if he wanted to. I could taste the pre-cum that was flooding into my mouth signifying that he was beyond control of himself. I could do or say anything now and he would be unable to resist.

I withdrew his cock from my mouth and spit on it, I was stroking it with my hand and said “Oh yeah baby, that feels so good, now give me your cum. I want it so bad, please give it to me.” His entire body began to tense up. At the first spurt, I thrust my mouth back onto his cock, going all the way down. I almost choked, but I loved it. His cum was still spurting out when I withdrew. I was pointing the tip at my mouth and stroked the last few drops out onto my lips. I said “Oh gawd that tastes so good.” I put his cock back in my mouth, and sucked the last few drops out. His body was in the grips of an uncontrollable spasm, his legs were jerking like he was having a seizure. His hands grabbed my head and pushed me away. I knew I had his cum all over my mouth and chin; I looked him in the eye and said “Oh FUCK that was Hot!” I hopped up and slithered to the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it.

I cleaned his cum off of the bottom half of my face, and began to fix my make-up. I wanted to swish a little mouthwash around and spit, but I thought it would be better if he could smell his cum on my breath when I returned to him. I was smiling at myself in the mirror while I was fixing my make-up and applying my lipstick. The plan was working, but I wasn’t finished yet. I let him stew for another minute before I re-hooked my bra, got myself adjusted, and left the bathroom. I had the easy part done, now came the hard part.

I left the bathroom and found him sitting with his face in his hands. He had gotten a tea towel from the kitchen, cleaned himself, and buttoned himself back up. When I was about six feet away from him I stopped, standing with my feet apart and giggled “Oh my gosh, you really got me excited!” When he looked up, I pointed at the wet spot in my crotch. He looked so sad and ashamed, and buried his face in his hands again. I went to him and cradled his chin and made him look up at me, there were literally tears in his eyes, they weren’t flowing down his cheeks, but they were there. I said “There there sweetie. What’s the matter?” He could only say that he should have stopped me. I held my head about three inches from his face, making sure he smelled my breath, and said “Why? It’s not as if you’ve ‘defiled a virgin’ or anything.” A genuine look of surprise came over his face. I freshened his drink while I said “What were you thinking, after all I’m a cigarette girl in a showclub for christsakes.” I hated doing this, but it just had to be done. If I was going to keep from hurting him in the long run, I must show him, tell him what I was.

I went to my purse and took out a cigarette, he said “Please don’t smoke in my apartment, you know I don’t like the way it smells.” I opened the drapes and the sliding patio door that led to his balcony, went out and lit up. I knew he would be aghast because someone might see me and I was only wearing a bra and panties. He came to the door and said “You’re not dressed, please come back inside.” I replied “Honey, you just told me that you didn’t want me to smoke in there, now which is it?” I could see that he was frustrated. “Just go back inside and enjoy your drink darling, I’ll be inside in a minute.” I flicked my ashes into a potted plant that Masie was no doubt caring for. His exasperation with me was building, it was just what I wanted.

When I came back inside he seemed relieved at least for a moment. I sat next to him on the sofa and was sipping my wine. I let him break the silence “I can’t understand why you are acting like this…” I cut him off and said “I can’t understand why you are acting like this either, I thought you would be pleased. I go out of my way to cook you a wonderful dinner. I made a special effort to look extra sexy. We really hadn’t been alone before, and I wanted to do something EXTRA nice for you and now you’re acting like you wished that I didn’t give you a blowjob. Why don’t you relax? Didn’t it feel good?” He started stammering as if he was at a loss for words. I had rattled his core, he was suave, but apparently he wasn’t worldly. Finally he composed himself enough to answer “Yes, of course it felt good. But I’m just not accustomed to doing this sort of thing, and I do respect you enough to say that I really do wish you hadn’t done that.”

This was being so hard for me, this man was so sweet. I literally had to make him think less of me now so that he wouldn’t be crushed when he found out the truth. “Doing what sort of thing? Do you mean to tell me that you’ve never had a girl suck your cock?” He winced when I said the word and said “Please don’t talk like that, it’s so vulgar.” I feigned being offended and said “Why do you care, nobody can hear but us, we are alone. It’s not like you didn’t know that I talked like that. Did you think I was some kind of goody-two-shoes? Besides, I like sucking cock; I enjoy sucking cock, hell I even like saying the word cock. Excuse me, but what was that you said just a minute ago? Was it that you wished that I hadn’t sucked your cock? I wanted to spend the evening with you, but if that’s the case, maybe I should go.” I stood up and pretended to be gathering up my things and was picking up my dress when he stood up and said “Margaret, please don’t go. I’m just feeling guilty. I’m almost twice your age. You have to understand that people of my generation are a little stiff about sex in general, let alone oral sex. The truth is that I really honestly have never had a girl perform oral sex for me.” I was really surprised, here was a man who had been on a thousand dates with hundreds of different women who all wanted him to marry them. They no doubt wanted to keep him, and not one of them had ever blown him. I supposed it was possible. I smiled at him and said “You are kidding me aren’t you?” He spoke an emphatic “No.” I went to him and threw my arms around him “You poor man, I probably scared the fuck out of you. A bar girl like me throwing herself at you like that.” He was hugging me back and said “You aren’t a bar girl, you’re young attractive, and intelligent.”

I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him away just far enough to make eye contact and said “You better sit down.” He looked concerned; the air rushed out of him and he collapsed back into the sofa. I sat down next to him leaving an inch or two between us. I took his hand and looked into his eyes and began to speak. “George, this might be hard for you to understand, but I am a bar girl. Thank you for saying those nice things about me, yes I am young, I make an effort to be attractive, and I like to think that I’m intelligent too. But my financial situation demands that I make some extra money from somewhere and being young and attractive helps somebody like me make ends meet. I really honestly thought you knew and were being polite as usual, for not mentioning it.” His face was filled with anguish, not for himself, but for me “You poor kid, that must be awful.” I shrugged it off and said “It’s not as bad as all that, it beats working. Of course none of the men are as nice or as fun to be around as you. Most of them are such bores that I enjoy the sex more than their company. Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m sorry if I hurt you or led you on. I suspected that you were starting to have feelings for me, and I have become very fond of you too. This has been a huge burden for me to carry around. My nights have been filled with worry thinking about how I could ever tell you something that might make you stop caring about me, knowing all the while that I must tell you. If I didn’t care so deeply about you, I would have never told you. You probably would have found out from someone else in a most painful way. Can you find it in your heart to let me stay in your life?”

He exhaled and said with a remorseful tone “I really don’t know the answer to that.”

***
I probably should write each of you an e-mail apologizing for dragging you into reading my life story. Writing it has been cathartic. It really did turn into a book after I began to relate the story on this blog. I thought I could sum up my life in thousand words or so, but after writing the first seven entries it became apparent that I just couldn't abridge a story that was so familiar. (I've never been able to do anything halfway.)

I will continue to post here, with the same proviso...nobody comments, no posting.

For obvious reasons I've become a little bit of a private person in my old age. My conservative neighbors might not be so quick to smile and say hello if they knew that I was born "somewhere between" what they assume to be the two distinct sexes and chose to relate the story in a book. I'd like to thank you all(especially Paul) for being so supportive in this endeavor. Also please excuse me for shunning any notoriety which may come my way. I've gotten quite comfortable with my existence as a little old lady who really doesn't get noticed by anyone outside my family.

Look for the book to be published in the fall.

Thanks Again,
Love,
Peggy