A couple of months ago, I was sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office when I began chatting with the only other patient who was sitting there. We hit it off, and decided to go have coffee together after our appointments. We went to a nearby cafe and sat for a few minutes just getting to know one another. She’s a great kid who has a good sense of humor and is easy to talk to. I was a little surprised when she mentioned that she had seen the doctor today to monitor the dosages of her HRT.
I must be getting old, I had no idea that my new little friend had been born and raised a male. When I told her my story, she was more than a little surprised as well; she thought I was just another overly chatty old lady.
Her name is Gem (pronounced: Jemm) and at age 16, she had been going through bouts of depression, and had become uncommunicative to the point of not speaking to either of her parents. Her parents had wondered what could possibly be wrong with their child, and sent her to the family physician, who in turn referred her to a psychiatrist.
She told me that she was just unable to converse with her parents on any level because she ‘just knew’ that there would not be any way for them to understand what she was going through. Luckily, she was able (after several appointments) to open up to the shrink and actually begin to explain how she felt. Another lucky part of the story is that the shrink was female…it was so much easier to explain what she was feeling to a woman.
Not only has medical science come a long way since I came to the realization that something was definitely different about me, but evidently the sciences of psychology and psychiatry have come a long way too. I guess some of it must be that science has finally awakened to the fact that a percentage of us human beings cannot be neatly tucked into either one of their gender pigeonholes.
When I told Gem that I never had SRS, and had never regretted it, she was intrigued by the thought process that went with that sentiment. It took me ten minutes of explaining before she finally wrapped her brain around the fact that there were virtually no doctors performing the surgery in the U.S. when I first became aware of my sexuality (or gender difference). By the time that it was readily available, I had come to realize that I was happy with the ways things were ‘down there’.
Gem is 18 now, and she produced a three ring binder in which she keeps all of her medical related materials. She brings it with her to every appointment because inevitably she will be asked for dates, dosages on her meds, other doctors seen, etc…and a girl just can’t remember everything.
I asked her how she was getting along with her parents now. She sadly related that her father has basically disowned her, but that she does have lunch with her mother occasionally. “It’s not a comfortable relationship for either one of us, but it is slowly getting better. I hope this year to finally get her to call me Gem…and who knows, maybe next year a little ‘girltalk’.”
While we were looking through her binder, we came across a list of questions that she had been asked to evidently find out what made her think that she might like to begin transition. We both decided that the list of questions was woefully incomplete. I told her about this blog and we came up with about fifty questions that would just give a girl a sort of a preliminary idea of what category she fit in and why she desires to:
a) Wear the clothing of and/or at least appear to be of the opposite sex.
or
b) Become a member of the opposite sex.
It surely isn’t to expose yourself to ridicule, scrutiny, or discrimination, or for that matter physical harm…
What is it that makes you tick? Complete the questionnaire in the next post and see for yourself.
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